we learn as we grow.

random stuff: it's about how we want to make our lives beautiful, not fate which decides our future.

it's really fascinating when you realised how great your life has changed while you are exchanging words with your friends and a good conversation is really ideal. somehow people change for the better whenever they are out of the comfort zone, especially for me.

well, just now i went back to andss with my old friends. played soccer in the afternoon though i was wearing slippers and it was damn hot out there and yet i played barefoot. i just wanted to join in for the sake of being with my friends and not because i really wanted to play badly. didn't take the matches seriously because i wasn't wearing proper shoes which could have saved me from suffering from abrasion on my foot.

went to mac after soccer with zhikai, weide and dean. had a good sharing session with them and we tried to do some catching up. yeaps. shared with them about my past experiences in school and the secrets which i haven't told anyone about. somehow it feels better. and i don't seem to be kept in the dark anymore. talked lots of other stuff, eg. musings in sec school, future prospects and also what we learnt so far. quite aplenty of stuff (though mainly was of economics content. lol)

i really agree to the fact that choices have brought fate upon us. we chose anderson sec even though we could have gone to other schools. i would not have been close to them if i didn't know dean through sjab. and i would have been rotting perhaps if i didn't choose to be close with weide and maybe i won't be that close with them. that's also a form of choice. somehow all these choices i have mentioned are positive ones.

But there are also some negative choices that i have made. i realised that i should have persevered. i could have done lots of things had i chosen to do things on my own initiative. i could not have been in jj if i had made the right choice. though there are lots of regrets, however, all these choices have made me grow up into a better person. as what zhikai has said, it is hard to make good friends in jc because of the fact that we are exposed to people of different backgrounds and we have to learn to adapt to that alien culture of the school. everyone seems so fake actually, and only real friends know how they feel. and i learnt lots of stuff when i come to jj, because i compared my school with others and found that there's a lot of differences in terms of culture and emphasis on some aspects such as academics and discipline. and at the same time, i have learnt to appreciate andss more within these 2 years.

it's ironic to find having yourself liking the school only after when you have left. you won't appreciate things until you are being deprived from owning them.